Grateful

Written By: Haven House Sober Living Date: March 23rd, 2009. Topic: Member Blogs.

What it’s like. I’m not gonna lie (I work an honest program or something), sober living was not easy to accept at first. I came to Haven House after a 30-day stay at Cirque Lodge in Utah. I spent the first week or so basically stirring in self-pity. Who wouldn’t right? I grew up in LA, i never thought i would be going to AA meetings and staying in a sober living home in this city, but here i am. I’m 19 years old and apparently i have alcoholism. I cant even buy a drink legally and everyday i have to say, “hi, i’m jeremy and I’m an alcoholic”. How could it of come to this? I thought i had everything under control. I lived a fast life with fast friends and in such an enviorment it’s hard to indentify those who have a problem, and those who are just recreational users. I quickly indentified myself as a recreational user, because who wants to be an addict. I never used by myself, so clearly i dont have a problem, right?. Plus I had some friends who were sent to rehab when i was in high school and they told me all about the program. I laughed at them a lot. I never thought i would be like them and hated to think i might one day have to go through the awful rooms of AA. Those people scared the hell out of me.

Today I am very grateful that i am going through it. I am very grateful to still be alive. It was hardly 71 days ago that i was lying in a hospital bed ODing. Everything in my life has happened for a reason. I got myself here and i am going to get myself through it. Not alone, but with the help of Haven house and the people in my life, i have been working the program and staying sober. It’s not easy and surrendering my old ideas and ways of thinking was the hardest part. Haven house has been really challenging but i am really glad i am still fighting, the alternative doesnt even sound good anymore.

By J.U.