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Have You Embraced Your Purpose Today And Why Should You Care?

Written By: Marcia Ullett, MA Date: December 10th, 2009. Topic: Spirituality.

“We live in a purposeful universe.  Every organism in the universe has a design—a purpose that determines its function and role.  A critical part of our development is the inside-out search for purpose and meaning.”

–Richard J. Leider

Purpose is a need within us, the fulfillment of which gives us a feeling of belonging to the world and a relationship to others.  It can also lead to renewed excitement about our work which is profoundly satisfying.

Purpose begins with the realization of the spiritual life within and around us.    Purpose can give depth and weight to our lives by motivating us to respond to that inner need and desire.  It can be expressed through a choice of work which is consistent with that purpose and those spiritual desires.  In fact, once we really get in touch with our purpose, it informs our entire life along with community, family, relationships and self-care.

Have you ever had the thought:  “Is there more to life than this?”   If you have, you’re already in a place where finding your sense of purpose can help you answer that and other important questions.

One of the ways people begin to think about purpose is through crisis.  Everyone experiences crisis from time to time.  The role of crisis –- moderate or severe –- can play a significant part in defining our purpose.   It is often a tendency to be reflective during or after a crisis.  Sometimes it acts as a catalyst enabling us to let go of our daily concerns and take in the big picture of what’s next.  But who wants to wait for a crisis?  Doesn’t sound very enticing, does it?

It is not necessary to wait until life confronts you with a crisis to seek your sense of purpose.  A sense of purpose is there within you, an inside job, if you will, whenever you choose to find it.

With the holidays upon us, I am reflecting on how difficult it used to be for me to accomplish my New Year’s resolutions.  Perhaps you’ve had the same experience.  That could be because there is no context within which these resolutions have been made.  They are goals without a bigger picture. The difference between setting goals out of the context of a sense of purpose and within that sense of purpose is significant.  Often it simply is that the goals seem more superficial with no direction.  Also, with a sense of context, we are more deeply motivated.

I used to struggle with making a list of goals for my life.  Nothing seemed fundamentally important to me.  There was no flow, no connection from those goals to my life. That was because I had no defined purpose from which to work.  Purpose is broader and deeper, more than pursuing a goal.  It is the framework for our goals.  Once I found my sense of purpose for that time in my life, the goals were easy from that point.  I began to feel so much more passionate about my life and my work, and I firmly believe that this passion is an outgrowth of having found my sense of purpose.  I also believe that finding my sense of purpose for the next chapter of my life has made life easier and more exciting for me.

It is possible, sometimes necessary, to re-invent ourselves several times during our lives in response to a changing environment.  This is by no means a small order; however, if we begin by putting our purpose down on paper, we can more easily identify it.  Then we can begin the exciting journey of living our purpose.

When approaching the notion of designing our purpose, it works best if we create the purpose first and then allow our life to flow from it rather than to design our purpose around our life.

“In fact, many of us never even speak about what our purpose could be and instead work only on coping with day-to-day situations.”

–James Flaherty

Anxiety levels soar when our focus becomes too narrow.  We tend not to nurture our souls but rather find ourselves in a struggle to “get by.”

It does seem as if we are so busy –- always returning voice mails, emails, texts while working, raising children, and fitting exercise into our lives.  And, of course, we need time for fun.  When we approach our busy lives without purpose, we can easily become exhausted and overwhelmed.    Sometimes being busy can be an escape from the important questions or thoughts within us, universal questions.  With or without purpose, it is important to take time out on a regular basis.  We need space for creative pause in our lives.  This pause can be a walk in nature, meditation, in some way taking time for reflection so that we connect to our deeper selves and find the answers that are within us.

“Purpose is the most important quality for every life to possess, experientially, consciously, and with words.  It tells us what we want most to be about.”

–Frederic M. Hudson, Ph.D.

I was once speaking with a friend of mine who is an M.D. and treats older adults.  He said that many of them had regrets about their lives.  These regrets were mainly about not having left an imprint on their world, family, or community.  They were filled with thoughts about deep issues, and most of them seemed to wish they had thought of this sooner.  When I think about that, I connect within myself to a need to do my part to help my family, my friends, and my world.  So purpose for me is also about service, about sharing.

Our purpose evolves and changes for us as we evolve and change.  It may begin with a desire to achieve greater success in business but can grow to encompass community and spirituality as well as work and play.   I remember that when I first got sober, my purpose was to find a Higher Power and learn how to live without drinking.  That was a huge purpose for me.  In fact, at the time I had not even thought much about purpose.  Over the years my purpose has evolved again and again.  At this point it has broadened to include service to family and friends as well as community.  It also includes my work.  In fact my purpose now covers all aspects of my life as well as my process.  It seems that the more we do this kind of intuitive searching within ourselves, the deeper our results become, filling us with a greater sense of achievement and motivation.

Our purpose is our vision of our lives in the future.  It can be our near future or our more distant future.  I like to start with the distant future and then work backwards, designing goals which will gradually get me closer and closer to what I want to do, where I want to be, and what I want to leave behind me.

One of the best ways to find our sense of purpose is to look first at clarifying our values.  Our values are not tangible, they are the concepts that best represent who we are, what is most important to us.  Like purpose, values shift and change throughout our lives.

When we live according to our values, we tend to have a feeling of fulfillment.  In contrast when our lives challenge our values, we tend to feel discontent and tension pervades our path.  Understanding what are our most important values is helpful in designing a map for finding our sense of purpose and achieving our goals.  When clarifying our values, it is essential that we remember not to judge them.  If we do, we could fall into the trap of choosing values which we think we should have, rather than being true to ourselves.  Most of us can look back at various choices we made earlier in their lives which might not have been true to our values.  These choices probably did not turn out well.

In addition to exploring our values, it is useful to take a look at our strengths, our gifts.  Each of us has gifts.  One way to find them is to make a list of everything you’ve ever done well.  What qualities in you led to success in these areas?  These qualities are your gifts.  Some people feel stuck in their lives.  That could be because they are not focusing on their gifts, on the things they do really well.  And let’s face it, it feels great to be doing something successfully.

Purpose is not only the discovery of what moves us in theory, but also applying what we’ve learned in practice.  It is not enough to know what moves us.  We need to set forth and practice our purpose, follow our passion.  When we live a life of passion, we are truly alive; we are energized.  We are living an answer to some of life’s more powerful questions, such as:  Who am I?  What’s it all about?  Why am I here?  Everyone seems to have these questions deep within.  In this work, however, there will be distractions.  Part of what we need to do is to prioritize and manage those distractions, both internal and external.

Our purpose has to do with our contribution to life, not just ours but the lives of others as well.  No other person can discover for us what lies within, what our truth is.   Purpose has been referred to as our “calling.”  Discovering our purpose takes time and thought.   It is the beginning of a powerful and fulfilling journey.   It lends a fullness to our lives, helping us to know where our path is.  It begins deep within us and, once stated, can be the basis of our design for living our lives.  Our purpose is our vision for our future lives.  Our vision helps us become motivated to change and grow throughout our lives.

For the purpose of CE/CEU’s, article objectives are:

  • The participant will learn what purpose is and why it is important.
  • The participant will learn about the role of crisis in thinking about purpose.
  • The participant will learn how to discover purpose.
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Marcia Ullett, MA

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    10 Responses to Have You Embraced Your Purpose Today And Why Should You Care?

    1. Skeeze Whitlow

      The21writer@alumni.marymount.edu

      Dear Marcia Ullett,

      Having read your article on purpose, I must tell you how intrigued I am. Concerning the search for purpose, I got sober in 1986, ostensibly to fulfill my purpose. Prior to that, I’d been a cook in the Merchant Marine. I traveled many places and had the time of my life — it was time for me to settle down and ‘do’ something. I was undisciplined with a flighty mind.

      But I managed to quit drinking and smoking. I attended the best schools, recieved a Masters Degree and published as much fiction as possible. Unfortunately, enough is never enough. I feel my purpose is to write and publish. I’m 56,000 words into my next novel, and I feel stuck.

      Perhaps what I need is a life coach — I don’t know.

      This sober life has been very good to me and I realize how fragile it is because I attend meetings and see people lose their sobriety. Can you help me in any way?

      Skeeze

      P.S.: Check this out…
      My second novel is now audio – like old time radio. All you have to do is listen. It’ll make you laff. Go to http://www.NewFiction.com

      Choose ‘Senate Parking’

      Skeeze Whitlow

    2. Margot Desannoy

      I just finished reading Marcia Ullett’s article “Have You Embraced Your Purpose Today And Why Should You Care?” and I’m so glad I did as it has helped clarify the need for purpose and why that is so important. Many times I feel I’m drifting through this life - too busy, as Marcia says, with emails, phone calls, reports, trying to fit everything in at once and in fact, sometimes trying to do everything at once. That doesn’t work too well and ends up causing me more confusion and stress. I recently wrote a book that will be published this year. I am more clear now what my purpose is regarding not only the messages in the book but the reasons I pursued this creative venture to begin with. Thanks, Marcia, for helping me sort that out.
      Margot Desannoy, MFT

    3. Deborah Sweet, Psy.D.

      After reading Marcia’s article, I am inspired to think, feel and respond. What a wonderful article and certainly perfect for this time of year (endings and beginnings). I very much enjoyed the idea between having connection and purpose in our lives. Without connection, it is indeed hard to find purpose. Also, as she states, from crisis can come purpose. From a recent crisis I went through, I’ve been asking myself, what can I do differently? Her idea that the answer may come from purpose is very helpful. I also appreciated her reminder that there will be distractions from finding or maintaining our purpose, however we can “prioritize and manage” them. There is a sense of relief in understanding we are not victims of our circumstances, we have choices. Marcia’s perspective on purpose and vision were refreshing and supportive to read moving into 2010. Thanks for the motivating article.
      Deborah Sweet, Psy.D.

    4. Skeeze Whitlow

      Hi Skeeze,

      Thank you for writing regarding my article on Purpose. I’m so passionate about this subject, and, like you, my first real purpose was sobriety. It is, of course, still my purpose, but now I have, as I mentioned, expanded my purpose. I’ll email you further a bit later in the day, but, if you’d like to write to me directly, it’s marcia@marciaullett.com. Also, my website is http://www.marciaullett.com.

      Thanks again,
      Marcia

    5. Rose Sokol

      I love that this article discussed clarifying our values. I think we forget how much our values work in our daily lives and impact our decisions. I agree with Marcia’s statement that so often we choose the values which we think we should have, rather than being our authentic selves. I also enjoyed the discussion of purpose beginning “with the realization of the spiritual life within and around us”.

      Marcia’s thoughts on entering into this new year by reviewing and renewing our purpose was a gentle and needed reminder to take the time and assess what we are contributing to our lives and the lives of those around us. What a journey!

    6. James Harmon Brown

      As a professional writer for the past thirty-five years, I am a past and present master of the art of wasting time. Most of my contemporaries would acknowledge the same trait of busying ourselves with one thing or another while the primary task at hand–whatever it may be–lies waiting and waiting and waiting some more to be completed. What Marcia’s piece did for me was to underline the problem and offer useful, basic suggestions and solutions: i.e. setting goals, organizing one’s time and, most importantly to me, being flexible enough to be able to be able to change and/or adjust those goals, personal and professional, at regular intervals. I just turned 60 so my needs and goals are different now than they were twenty years ago, ten years ago and so on. I will never, sad to say, pitch for the Dodgers. Of course I could just as easily have said that at any point in my life. The serious point is…we still have hopes and dreams at every age and Marcia’s piece goes a long way toward showing us how to attain them.

      Jim Brown

    7. Bernard C. Wesson

      That which I appreciate most about Marcia Ullett’s article is the combination of the aspirational and the practical. There was a time when I felt that my life had no purpose, other than to make money and support my family. Finding purpose, and a higher purpose, is a challenge, but one that promises a high degree of fulfillment. Adding the component of shorter term goals helps bring more meaning to all our day to day efforts, and helps keep me from the trap of either wasting time or not believing in what I am doing. I see it as the practical solution to being productive. This article helped me clarify these issues significantly.

    8. Sarah Vick

      Wow! After reading this article I felt validated with my ongoing process of finding my purpose. I have found that my purpose has morphed and changed throughout my sobriety. As I continue to grow, discard, and uncover, I change. I love the idea of having no regrets and using your values to help find your purpose. That reminded me of a sticker that was on my mom’s mirror in our car when I was growing up. It said, “follow you heart.” The next time I feel silly when pursuing my dreams, I will think of that. Thanks Marcia!

    9. Skeeze Whitlow

      Marcia,

      I’m now 70,000 words into my next novel. Moving right along. I’ve been submiting fiction since 1987. Its a tough market. But I’m psyched, and I will coninue to submit untill I reach my goal.

      You can see and hear my 2nd novel at http://www.NewFiction.com

      choosee ‘Senate Parking’ by Skeeze Whitlow

    10. Skeeze Whitlow

      Hi Skeeze,

      That’s wonderful. Keep up the good work! That’s incredible! Thanks for letting me know. I wish you continued success!

      Marcia

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