Working with addictive family’s for many years I have found that there are seven major realities that impact the family’s recovery. One of those realities is what I call the family scrimmage. I choose the word scrimmage to describe the daily reality of the addictive family because the word scrimmage, which is usually associated with football or some sport practice, is a word that accurately describes the addictive family reality. The word scrimmage originated in England in the late 1400s and literally means, “A rough and vigorous struggle that can lead to a bloody battle.” In the addictive family there is always a daily rough and vigorous struggle when alcoholism or drug addiction exists. It is a fierce daily combat. People who have grown up in an addictive family understand the intensity of this daily struggle but not always the severity of it.
People often say, “I married my Soul Mate.” But, the fact is that no one marries their Soul Mate. Couples become Soul Mates after sharing their lives together through good and bad times. They eventually reach a point in their relationship when they are two bodies but one mind and one Soul.
In society today, the word “addiction” often creates an image of a person falling down and slobbering drunk. Perhaps a man or woman who is unkempt and behaving deliriously, swaying and staggering from the overuse of drugs or alcohol.