Introduction:
Early recovery is a tricky time.  Early success, feeling fragile. Going one day at a time, often for the first time. Relapse lurking at the gates of a new sobriety. The senses are finally being thawed; the mind is beginning to clear.  Knowledge begins to pour in; new skills are learned.  And beneath this exciting [...]

“Sooner or later we must give up all hope of a better yesterday.” Ashley Brilliant wrote that, but I wish I had,because it says so perfectly what I want to write to you.
I have such sorrow that we, your parents, failed you. When you were growing up, one of us was alcoholic and the other [...]

Life is a journey of discovery — and change is the catalyst, the energy source, that propels us toward self-acceptance, unconditional love for others, appreciation of life, and a relationship with God. The journey of life is inward, not upward — and all change is really for the better, regardless of how painful it is [...]

There has been a sea change in the way Americans believe policy makers should be addressing addiction issues.* They want to see changes in laws, policies and attitudes so that addiction is treated as a health issue — not a law enforcement one. They want prevention, education, treatment and recovery programs to be supported.
We salute [...]

We’ve heard the quote before: “what a man thinketh, a man does; what he does, he becomes…” When I  understood the importance of being a good example for my children, I revised that old quote: “What a child sees, a child does. What a child does, a child becomes.”
With help from others wiser than I, [...]

In 1989 Virginia Lewis and I began the Family Recovery Research Project at the Mental Research Institute in Palo Alto to address several basic questions: what is the process of recovery for the family?  What happens over time when one or both parents stop drinking? What is the impact of this major change on the [...]

What Happens to the Family When Addiction Becomes Part of It?
Families where addiction is present are oftentimes painful to live in, which is why those who live with addiction are oftentimes traumatized to varying degrees by the experience. Broad swings, from one end of the emotional, psychological and behavioral spectrum to the other, all too [...]

The stories of ACOA parents struggling to do a good job of raising their children provoke thoughts of what happened in their childhoods.  What would have made a difference in that original family? A successful intervention with the alcoholic is an obvious choice, but in addition the sober parent can make an enormous difference in [...]

The sun manages to come up without your help.
Therapy finally kicks in.
You can stop apologizing for what someone else did.
Other people can solve their own problems…or not.
You really know you didn’t cause it.
The statute of limitation has expired on your mistakes.
You let other people be wrong  — even though you could improve things given the [...]